Cottage satisfaction hampered by history


DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My recent ex-husband and I each own half our cabin, but it got weird. I didn’t want to abandon my half, because I love my heavenly lake – but so does he.

Since the breakup two years ago, my ex takes the cabin one month in June and another in August. I get it in my favorite months of July and September. But I don’t think I can take it anymore!

Our rambunctious lake neighbor is gossiping to me about my husband’s activities with the new girlfriend – and it hurts to listen. She says she doesn’t like my ex’s new wife and thinks she’s a “pretentious” witch. But now I hear she’s saying the same thing about me to the new girlfriend. It’s just that we get sick here.

We brought our kids here for many summers, and there are so many memories, but I’m starting to feel more and more upset and hurt. Our property is worth a lot now. Should I approach my husband to make a deal with him, or will I regret giving up my lake?

– Injured Ex-Wife, Cottage Country

Dear Hurting: The point of breaking up “cleanly” is to take some distance, heal as best you can, and start new social lives. This back-and-forth arrangement you have now may work on paper, but in real life it keeps you emotionally stuck. It’s a jagged tear.

Let your ex redeem you now. Then buy your own cabin in a different location – maybe on a different lake – where you can make new memories and make new friends. With a little time, it will become an exciting adventure for you.

As for the talkative neighbor, who played you and the new wife, cut her off right away. You don’t have to be a polite Canadian. Also, tell your ex-husband what she is doing. It’s time for this sneaky woman to go home to her own cabin and stay there.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My best friend wants to have a baby, because she is 35 years old. She told me the other night that she wanted me (her best friend) to be the father. “We could raise the baby as friends and split the costs,” she said.

I also think it may be a plot to get me out of the friend zone and into the love zone. She’s so not my type! To be brutally frank, I don’t like his physical appearance, although I would never insult him by saying that.

She’s starting to bother me frequently about the baby issue, so how do I tell her? She has been a good friend to me for many years, and I don’t want to lose her friendship. — Reluctant Dad Material, Selkirk

Dear Unwilling: Your friendship is at a crossroads. You’ll have to be upfront about this woman who needs to look elsewhere for co-parenting. She might even be so hurt and angry that she will finally be free to find a guy who loves her and wants to be her husband and the father of her babies.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I have regained our sex life since the kids started driving to and from the lake. The trick is this: we tell everyone they have to go home on Sunday afternoon at 3 p.m., then we stay until Monday morning.

Sunday evening, we go swimming naked, we play in the water at sunset, then we go up to the cabin and we light our favorite candle — the one that still makes us beautiful — and we have a wonderful evening.

We look forward to saying goodbye to the company on the quay on Sunday afternoon. When my daughter recently asked me why dad and I were sending everyone home early, I said bluntly, “Because it’s a romantic night,” and raised my eyebrows. She grimaced! I really hope she “gets it” and learns from it – to set aside time for an intimate relationship with her future husband. You think his dad and I are being selfish, denying our kids a full weekend?

— In love with my husband, Southdale

Dear lover: The idea of ​​romance is beautiful and logical to preserve a great marriage, but you don’t have to be totally rigid about Sunday departures, especially on long weekends. On a weekend when no business shows up, you and your man can make up for lost time!

Please send questions and comments to [email protected] or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o The Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Consulting Columnist

Every year the Free press publishes over 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her answers to life and relationship questions that come her way.

Maureen Scurfield

Maureen Scurfield
Consulting Columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

About Jermaine Chase

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